Fun Times in Beaurocracy

Fun story.
So there’s this guy, we’ll call him Tyler. Anyways, Tyler gets this email from his insurance company saying that their records show his driver’s license has been suspended and they will not be able to renew his insurance policy. Now, Tyler realizes this is obviously a mistake and so calls his insurance rep and explains that this is impossible. The rep understands and offers to personally run a check against the DMV and see if he can find the error or at least get more information. Tyler happily agrees and proceeds to go about his day, unworried.

An hour goes by and the rep calls back. There’s a problem, he tells Tyler. It seems that the suspension is real and in fact has been in place for almost four months! Astonished, Tyler replies that he has no idea how this could be. He certainly never received anything in the mail from the DMV or the courthouse! Wishing Tyler well, the rep says that if it isn’t fixed soon Tyler will be dropped from the policy.

Rushing to the DMV, Tyler hurriedly explains his dire situation. After punching a hole through his (now invalid) driver’s license, they show him the culprit: a citation for failure to appear in court after receiving a ticket in Riverside, CA. But how, Tyler asks, can this be true if not only have I never been to Riverside but I was out of the country when this ticket was issued? Call the courthouse, the DMV responds, and leave us alone.

Frustrated and confused, unable to legally operate a motor vehicle inside the United States of America, Tyler calls the courthouse and manages to reach an actual human being in only a brief 45 minutes or so of hold music and dropped calls. Ah hah! the Courthouse says, we see the problem. There was another person with your same name and birthdate, the DMV must be confused. But the issue isn’t on our end, because we don’t even have your driver’s license written down here. It’s obviously someone else!

Thank god, Tyler thinks. This will be straight forward and easy to fix. They believe me! I’m not a criminal, didn’t fail to appear in Court and soon this will all be over!

Setting off on his bicycle, Tyler rides the several miles back to the DMV happy that this will all soon be over. He cheerfully takes another ticket and waits in the corner that passes for a line until his number is announced. Walking up to the counter, he recites his situation once again. This is the Court’s problem, the DMV says. Tyler explains that the Court said it was the DMV’s problem. Well it’s not, the DMV replies. Talk to the Court. Exasperated, Tyler is sent away again and rides cheerlessly back to his apartment.

Suffice to say, but this late hour in the day (nearly 3:30pm) the Court was closed until the following week.